Monday, November 9, 2015

Movie Review: "The Hobbit"

Movie Review: "The Hobbit"
Remember "Bedknobs and Broomsticks?" .."Escape to Witch Mountain"? If you do, I am sorry for reminding you. But this little 'ad-ven-cha' should help heal the scars. However, you must see it in IMAX-3D. Then, no matter how shallow the story line, you've always got something flying in your face to keep you from comatose and in defense mode. Remember to take the little ones....so you can use them as a shield while pretending to hold them up for a better look.
Drawrves...elves...trolls...ogres..but where are the friggin' gnomes?! What about gnomes,huh...huh!? Spent 45 minutes obsessing about this seemingly sinful omission before rationalizing that gnomes are merely cartoonish smurflike garden toys and did not belong in this movie. Right?!?
Who the hell knows?! Where exactly is 'middle earth'.?! What exactly is a "Hobbit"?! Where is 'Harry Potter"?! Mental gaps created by these plexing questions were filled by the sounds of gurgling bongs and gatherings around a 6-month game of "Dungeons and Dragons". Fantasy's oblivion. The answers lie there.
The Hobbit is Dudley Moore, I think. wink emoticon He is a domesticated quasi-elf with elephantitus of the feet. The movie claims him as the title, but his character is hammered into secondary status with an onslaught of characters and cinematic special effects that will keep you captivated throughout most of 170 minutes.
IMAX 3d two thumbs up. That's pretty good considering where the other thumb usually is. Fantasy's oblivion......