Monday, October 19, 2020

"the MAN" at Dunlawton

                                                                    "The  'MAN' "
                                                              "  The 'BOY SCOUT' "

I never understood why they don't have a " thumbs down" button to click on in this Facebook thing.                                           
     YES,...you can be legal...and STILL have something to worry about! 
At about 3 a.m. last November, while fishing in my kayak for flounder, I stopped off at the Dunlawton approach to use the restroom on my way to a couple of islands. I pulled up to the ramp and was scurrying to the restroom, when a shadowy figure suddenly appeared from behind the bridge's concrete pillar. He started walking towards me REAL FAST...and cutting me off on my hurried scamper to relieve myself because of the cold, wet night. 
     
He did not identify himself....and, seeing as it was 3 or 330 in the morning...and we were the only two under the bridge on this dark, cold, lonely night...I thought maybe someone was coming to ROB ME!. Luckily ( in retrospect), I wasn't carrying my concealed...because I might have readied it. 
I stopped and prepared myself for a potential short conversation...and shouted out a short 
"Hey Hey, How's it goin'?"
 
     There was no response.
 
     A few steps later, my mind started to think "defense"....and I gazed back at my flounder gig and started walking 'fake'- casually toward my decked out - trolling motor- titled- and -registered -with 3" registration letters on both sides and of course , a running lights, anchor lights, life vest, whistle, flares, and my handy-dandy five year ...."yes ,you are allowed to eat catfish and puffers-but-throw-everything-else-back".... Florida Fishing License. 

     Regulating a Kayak!? Yup! I have on many occasions been the "easy prey" for these fellers, as they stop and empty and check the entire length of my hull for fish.... and check all my credentials for my 3mph 'lectric motor kayak....as a speedy 30 some-odd foot Cigarette boat powers through the manatee zone at 50mph. 

     Well anyways, I started to feel a little relief when the shadowy figure approaching began to come into view. 

     Sheeewsh! It was just a boy scout! Er, well,...maybe a Scoutmaster...as it was a man dressed in green khaki shorts and high tube socks and a scouts highly decorated uniform. 
But uh-oh! Nope! The decoration was a BADGE...and this was " the man".

      FWC!!!

      I said to him " "ah,...you're the "Man! I was wonderin' who that was!"
He didn't smile or greet me or anything, just asked for all my credentials and safety equipment , then asked if I caught any fish. I was embrarassed a little, and told him "nahhh, nuthin'".. He said "Do you mind if I check your hull?" 

     Well of course I mind! You practically just called me a poacher and a liar!
 I didn't tell him that,...I just thought it.
 I practically 'begged' him if I could 'PLEASE' go use the restroom while he checked the hull. "You know how it is"...I explained. 
The cold wet water, 45 degrees out, and any man knows that you start to begin the 'urine release process' in that situation WELL before you reach the urinal....so I was ready to 'power wash' some porcelain in them Dunlawton facilities, for sure.
 He seemed pissed, pardon-the-pun...but gave me the okay. 

     It took me about 3 1/2 min to empty the bladder, and when I got out he seemed even MORE pissed cuz I took too long! I don't know what his real issue was..but I was thinking to myself... 'Maybe he's tired....or maybe he hates the night shift....or maybe I'm ugly...or maybe he was napping and my damned self prompted him into obligatory duty. Or maybe he was only one-centerfold in to that stack of PLAYBOYS on the dash of his SUV ( which was purposely well-hidden in the dark shadows of the bridge pilons). Whatever the case, some 25 minutes later..he did walk off in a grumble. Sorry boss...I scored 110% on your little field test. Maybe next time.

     I was pretty much done for the night...and was a little ticked-off that he interrupted my 'quick-dash' to the restroom, and I wished I had just pissed into the riverwater like everyone else. One good thing though...as soon has he left the SNOOK started THRASHIN' the schools of finger mullet under the bridge! I strapped on a red-headed bomber and got FOUR SNOOK! One in the SLOT!! I guess I should thank the gestapo man instead having this 'bad-attitude' about being called a thief and a liar by "the man".

      But I won't.                                                                                                                                                                       <script data-ad-client="ca-pub-5988437317975630" async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>

Friday, August 7, 2020

2nd Amendment Fantasy

The right to ' Bear Arms '

No...not the right to have the bear arms from this fuzzy beast!

....The second amendment....was not so much a right to bear arms, as it was a right to have the means necessary to fend off a potentially all-consuming , powerful and oppressive beast..... a.k.a. the ( U.S. ) "Government." 
 Threats to freedom are both foreign ..and domestic !.

Amendment II: 


'A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.'


However, it is TOO LATE!


We have relinquished our freedom in hopes that we can trust 'THE STATE' to keep us safe. 
What has developed  is an overpowering military and a para-military police force ever growing and ever empowered to make you OBEY! 
The only way to maintain a "militia" powerful enough to secure a 'free state"....would be for everyone to have a small nuclear arsenal instead of a gun rack full of metaphorical pellet guns. 
Why does Orlando need a tank !? Why does Daytona Beach need riot gear?
 Tear gas, flame throwers, grenade launchers?
Airplanes, choppers, speedboats, jetskis, tasers, bomb robots?
High powered weapons, armored trucks, M-16's and M-14's?
Mine resistant vehicles, armored vehicles, Mustang 5.0's?
Bayonets, sniper scopes, mine detectors!!??
Tens of thousands of machine guns, camoflauge, night vision, thermal detectors?
Underwater sound equipment, extreme cold weather trousers, ?
This militarization of your local police forces ...become the military DISGUISED as a police force!
 These are just a small taste of the military-grade arsenal that law enforcement officers have at their disposal – with the military handing them hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of equipment. These are tools of WAR....or for the National Guard,.. that should be stored in your local Armory! 
Got an old musket that still fires? 
Feeling confident with your  gun cabinet full of pea shooters? 
Well it's time to think about exactly what it will take for a 'well regulated militia' to ensure freedom.  

We are Pooh's with Popguns!  Outgunned, out tech-ed, and helpless against  overpowering government  and police force that is armed to the teeth to 'control'  the 'enemy' :  It's own citizenry!!
 Wallow in blissfull ignorance while you stockpile your pea shooters if it makes you feel empowered. 
 But in reality, your 'pistol' is an inadequate  waste of time... 




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Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Bees, by an enemy of Joyce Kilmer

Bees


BY AN ENEMY OF  JOYCE KILMER
I think that I shall never see
A bug lovely as a bee.

A bee whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the flower's  sweet flowing breast;

A bee that looks at God all day,
And lifts his hairy arms to pray;

A bee that may in Summer wear
A nest of pollen in her hair;

Upon whose bosom nectar has lain;
While  busily buzzing my orange grove terrain

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a bee.
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Friday, May 22, 2020

Here's Your Sign

There will be times in your  life that you gain experience you never wanted.
At this time in my life...I have found myself thrust into the dating scene...divorced , penniless,..and getting old!  Sadly cursed by an introspectiveness that will not allow for delusional fantasy when it comes to rejection..the reality of it all becomes strikingly clear.
 And so, after  putting together  the top ten "Online Dating Tips For Men".....I decided to offer Part II in this little series: :   " Obvious Unheeded Rejections :  Here's Your Sign! "

1) Guys,  if you initiate conversation ,...one of the first things you should ask her is this:
 " What time is it?" 
If she hesitates, rolls her eyes,  walks away, seems bothered, or asks why you don't have a watch.....you have FOUND her!!   A woman that is not even willing to give you the time of day!  Probably should propose as soon as possible....but write your marriage proposal on an old Wendy's napkin and duct tape it to her car door handle. What the hell....she can't love you any less!

2)  If she brings up a boyfriend two seconds after she has given you the time of day.....it is a defensive shield against further encroachment .  I know,  I know....you did't ask about her boyfriend!  She's letting you know she is taken, and that entertaining "you" is not "trading -up".   Keep wearing that broken watch you have have on just for style, and continue to drive that car that is three-times your mortgage payment.  You will fool one someday....

3)  When you attempt to make a small pass at a girl that you KNOW has  ZERO PROBLEMS when it come to attracting men.
  " What have I got to lose"?   ...you may ask.  " You'll never know if you don't try!!"
You douschebag!   What you will lose is any sense of self-worth as you begin to realize your inadequacy as man to the female race.  And of course..you will lose your pride, your dignity, and any self-confidence that remained after your ex-wife left you for her drug dealer..
.  Not only will she "not date" you....but she feels no need to protect your fragile male ego.  In fact,  she is even a little bit "insulted"...that you would think yourself "worthy" enough  to even IMAGINE a circumstance where you two are together.  So,  she will use anger ....or cop a contemptful silence....hoping that these learn-ed techniques will make you hack off your ballsack and go away..

4) Fails to expound.  Expound.  That's a nice way to put it I guess.  Most women THRIVE on frivolous bullshit and drama.  If you offer a juicy tidbit of   goobery gossip...and there is no response...the " no reponse" part is for YOU!!   She does not want to engage.  Check back on her in 5-6 minutes and see if she isn't spreading your shit around town with hot oozing drool dripping from her lips as she savors , shares and expounds on  the tasty gossip.  But not with you!!    Loser.

5)  She says  "I can't go out with you....You're like family !".   Huh?  Family?  You have never even considered this,.. and have faithfully lusted over her  smokin' hot body and sweet face for years!  But now....OH NOW!!    ...you realize your thoughts have been TABOO.... and even INCESTUAL!!  YIKES!!! 
The best you can do is apologize and move on.  Perhaps you  can add a small branch to your family tree for her....or make your own special  "like family" tree.

6) Invitations.   She has always talked about going to see " The Phantom of the Opera"....  So, you invite her and she finds some excuse.  Movie invite.....excuse.  Lunch invite.....excuse. Party invite...excuse.  Dunkin' Donuts invite.....excuse.  Go ahead,  if you really gotta prove it to yourself after all of that...then just GO AHEAD...and do it.  Ask her what time it is....you poor witless maggot scum  douschebag.

7)  Other boyfriends.  If you are one of many 'men' she makes time for....then she is not afraid of losing you!
 If she actually shows you jewelry or lingerie from her other 'strictly platonic' relationships with other men....it is your duty to contribute as well! You should be willing to share her ...and,  may the best man win! That is,...until a better man comes along..

8) Getting the hint:   Understand guys, YOUR REJECTION... it's not really a hint at all!! 
 It's pretty dang obvious!
 But guys see women they want through this 'oracle of hope '...and still believe that somewhere,...... in the shitty hand they  were dealt with an ugly face , lack of status, or outright poverty....they MAY  still have favor with the 'gods' and fate.
 All of the obvious signals fade away and  that... one.. flicker... of.. light.... that remains ,... feeds their  hope :  "Well,  at least she didn't spit on me!  :)  " 
And if she didn't spit on you,  there's still a CHANCE!!  Right?

9)  Social Networking:  " She doesn't hit the "like" button. "
Of course,  it is JUST THAT SIMPLE!
 If she likes you, even your most stupidest jokes and memes will be goddam HILARIOUS!  . If she ain't hitting the "like" button.....let all your painful paranoid social media thoughts on 'why' rise up from hell's fury and slap you 'cross your ugly-ass face. She don't like ya! But it's okay.  Your mother did when you were 4.

10)   Introduces you to her single parent friends: '  "You are worthless to me,  but maybe my friend is desperate enough and if she is I can get you off my back! "   
 If the words :  " You should meet my friend..."   comes up in the conversation,  consider yourself "out".   

Well guys,  that's only ten rejections.....and I think I got several hundred within the first 24 hours of online dating.     Don't give up hope!!!   Just try to understand when "hope" is futile!    Good Luck!!
http://findingfreedom-elrok.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-clutches-of-hope.html
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     <script data-ad-client="ca-pub-5988437317975630" async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>



Thursday, April 9, 2020

Curb Your Dog



Dogs and Horses on Beach!!

                       Frolicking so happily in the giant sandbox!

Splashing
....dashing...
  So joyous and carefree!
   ....romping around  in the ocean waves....!


                     
                          Seems like such a gleeful and nature loving event!

           

  Just remember,  that this is FLORIDA!  ....and around this time of year, our climate has  pretty much made the transition from "sub-tropical"---  to full-on "TROPICAL".


   Along with your favorite dog or horse,  come other little nasty creatures...that tend to thrive in the warm, moist, tropical  August Heat.

The State of Florida becomes a gigantic petri- dish....with all sorts of bacteria, and lovebugs,  and Zika virus carrying skeeters, and magical mysterious microbial brain swelling amoeba. Blooming exotic collections of mutating microscopic creatures bubbling up from the swamplands,   gurgling in the retention pond bath waters, morphing  daily  , or even hourly,  ..so that your slowly evoluting human form  cannot defend against them.

Now, as for that dog or horse....even if you were "responsible"  enough to pick up after them,  there is a very special problem,  especially in August.




                                        Cutaneous Larva Migrans!!



      YEEEECHHH!!    Or,  once they enter the human skin....a condition called "Creeping Eruption".

Just lovely!!    Once you get it,  retrieving happy memories of you and your playful puppy prancing around on the beach...will become much more difficult!   You may even think angry evil thoughts about punishing  your cursed furred friend, and start planning a trip to the dog pound. Though it's not his fault,  once you feel the EVIL of this condition......you will understand this burgeoning frustrated contempt!

Creeping eruption is a skin infection  caused by hookworms. The infection is also called cutaneous larva migrans or sandworm disease. Creeping eruption causes severe itching, blisters, and a red growing, winding rash.  These gooey, larvally, wiggling, thriving creatures wander meanderingly between the cutaneous and subcutaneous layers ...causing an intense itch as they wriggle around aimlessly under your skin!
                             

                           Hookworm eggs have hatched!

.... and the larvae have found your thin layers of skin a good temporary host!



Don't mouth kiss your dog!!
Don't  lick your dog or let'im lick YOU!
DO NOT ACCEPT those lovable "doggy mooches " all over your face and eyes!
REMEMBER!!!,  your dog sleeps 'in-THE BUFF'.!!..so,  don't let'im into your sheets.
De-worm you canine friend regularly!
And when you are out slave- scooping it's feces God love ya, ....catch the maggotty-mess before it lands in the sandy soil,  where these wormy creatures begin their life cycle....


                                     
                                                 

                          When you visit your doctor....BE PREPARED!

   (especially if your fantastic ObamaCare  health plan makes you choose from a list of crappy  providers with teen-age doctors who are fresh out of med-school to save money!)

   Many of these inexperienced doctors will diagnose these creepy crawlers as a "fungal infection",   or athletes foot.  Be aggressive!    Know the difference yourself!   Once properly diagnosed,   the doc will undoubtedly attempt to prescribe a topical IVERMECTIN.   It won't work.  Unfortunately,  you will probably have to do a course of ORAL IVERMECTIN,...(or in effect,  swallow some bug killer.)  It will make you queasy and maybe nauseous,  and could damage your liver.

But if you experience this condition,  you will happilly swallow the prescribed poison ......as you begin to realize that the only other option is a loaded 30 ought 6 resting squarely under your chin as tears roll down your cheeks and on to your trigger-finger!

Beach Dogs No



Dogs and Horses on Beach!!

                       Frolicking so happily in the giant sandbox!

Splashing
....dashing...
  So joyous and carefree!
   ....romping around  in the ocean waves....!


                       
                          Seems like such a gleeful and nature loving event!

             

  Just remember,  that this is FLORIDA!  ....and around this time of year, our climate has  pretty much made the transition from "sub-tropical"---  to full-on "TROPICAL".


   Along with your favorite dog or horse,  come other little nasty creatures...that tend to thrive in the warm, moist, tropical  August Heat.

The State of Florida becomes a gigantic petri- dish....with all sorts of bacteria, and lovebugs,  and Zika virus carrying skeeters, and magical mysterious microbial brain swelling amoeba. Blooming exotic collections of mutating microscopic creatures bubbling up from the swamplands,   gurgling in the retention pond bath waters, morphing  daily  , or even hourly,  ..so that your slowly evoluting human form  cannot defend against them.

Now, as for that dog or horse....even if you were "responsible"  enough to pick up after them,  there is a very special problem,  especially in August.




                                        Cutaneous Larva Migrans!!



      YEEEECHHH!!    Or,  once they enter the human skin....a condition called "Creeping Eruption".

Just lovely!!    Once you get it,  retrieving happy memories of you and your playful puppy prancing around on the beach...will become much more difficult!   You may even think angry evil thoughts about punishing  your cursed furred friend, and start planning a trip to the dog pound. Though it's not his fault,  once you feel the EVIL of this condition......you will understand this burgeoning frustrated contempt!

Creeping eruption is a skin infection  caused by hookworms. The infection is also called cutaneous larva migrans or sandworm disease. Creeping eruption causes severe itching, blisters, and a red growing, winding rash.  These gooey, larvally, wiggling, thriving creatures wander meanderingly between the cutaneous and subcutaneous layers ...causing an intense itch as they wriggle around aimlessly under your skin!
                               

                           Hookworm eggs have hatched!

.... and the larvae have found your thin layers of skin a good temporary host!



Don't mouth kiss your dog!!
Don't  lick your dog or let'im lick YOU!
DO NOT ACCEPT those lovable "doggy mooches " all over your face and eyes!
REMEMBER!!!,  your dog sleeps 'in-THE BUFF'.!!..so,  don't let'im into your sheets.
De-worm you canine friend regularly!
And when you are out slave- scooping it's feces God love ya, ....catch the maggotty-mess before it lands in the sandy soil,  where these wormy creatures begin their life cycle....


                                       
                                                   

                          When you visit your doctor....BE PREPARED!

   (especially if your fantastic ObamaCare  health plan makes you choose from a list of crappy  providers with teen-age doctors who are fresh out of med-school to save money!)

   Many of these inexperienced doctors will diagnose these creepy crawlers as a "fungal infection",   or athletes foot.  Be aggressive!    Know the difference yourself!   Once properly diagnosed,   the doc will undoubtedly attempt to prescribe a topical IVERMECTIN.   It won't work.  Unfortunately,  you will probably have to do a course of ORAL IVERMECTIN,...(or in effect,  swallow some bug killer.)  It will make you queasy and maybe nauseous,  and could damage your liver.

But if you experience this condition,  you will happilly swallow the prescribed poison ......as you begin to realize that the only other option is a loaded 30 ought 6 resting squarely under your chin as tears roll down your cheeks and on to your trigger-finger!

                                                                                                                    <script data-ad-client="ca-pub-5988437317975630" async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>


Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Battle for Naivety

   Innocence  lost. Oh, how we should anguish in the day that the wicked curse of knowledge invaded our purity. If only we could recapture that special time. A soul unencumbered...smiling happily without the tumorous complication that erupted when the quest began.



The unquenchable thirst. The insatiable hunger.  Forced to shake hands with this evil and feel it's cold embrace. The unquestioning radiance of your innocent soul slowly dimmed by dark gray clouds. Your naivety bursting from the heavens trying to make it's way back home.

  
The rest of your life will be your personal  battle for naivety. For a return to the innocence that was somehow gifted you through the light of your consciousness. It is a battle you MUST fight, and fight to win.  The alternative is all consuming relentless eternal hell.
    
Learn to love your naivety. Revisit it whenever you can find it again.  It is a child lost in thickets of curs-ed knowledge, the pure radiance of his soul mired in the thorny briars.
    
                 Knowledge obscures truths found only in the soul.

Thursday, January 9, 2020

The Three Chinamen

Genghis Khan....Genocidal ruler.   Ruthless leader of the Mongel Army . Conquered , raped and pillaged hundreds of cities and villages...indiscriminately slaying children, women and men . Killing off nearly 5% of the world's population.  Master of psychological warfare, using fear and terrorism. Orchestrating horrifying massacres and wholesale destruction  to conquer and subdue.


Kublai Khan .
 Most successful Mongol Leader and the grandson of Genghis Khan. Founder of the Yuan Dynasty in 13th-century China. The success of Mongol tactics hinged on fear: to induce capitulation amongst enemy populations. From the perspective of modern theories of international relations,  "Perhaps terrorism produced a fear that immobilized and incapacitated the forces that would have resisted."The Mongol strategy of "surrender or die" still recognized that conquest by capitulation was more desirable than being forced to continually expend soldiers, food, and money to fight every army and sack every town and city along the campaign's route.


Gung Ho.
 This more contemporary Chinamen is perhaps just as  dangerous!   Found often in the workplace ..unthinkingly enthusiastic and eager, especially likes to take part in fighting or even a kind of conquering warfare. Filled with lustful delusions of grandeur.... attempting to establish the workplace as his own  personal kingdom. Willfull indignance and belittling humiliations are his weapons of choice...producing a fear that immobilizes and incapacitates the workforces that might have impeded his illustrious and stellar climb to the very tippety-top of his two-foot corporate ladder!    

We all know this Chinaman. Though he is seldom Chinese,  he deserves  to be held with the best of them in disgraceful recognition .