Sunday, November 29, 2015

Elrok Movie Review : "The Night Before"

Irreverence? Blasphemy? Mockery?  Debauchery?  Not fully understanding the satanic impulses that coaxed me into this theater....I left conscience behind to embrace the perception of guilty pleasure this film might provide.  In our  contemporary American  society ,  Elvis and Jesus have left the building...though elusive sightings of them  occur from time to time.  When Silent Nights turn into a Blue Christmas,  memories of  Jesus or Elvis might be woefully retrieved for a time,  only to be shoved back into darkened crevasses  that will fill the void created by their absence.

Yes, this film gave what it promised,  and nothing more.  If it found something to ridicule,  it was not religion, or the Christ child.  The true meaning of Christmas shines through in this film,....a reminder of what it really means to the bulk of our modern society.  It's a time to party.

Ridiculous is  funny. Clowns are funny. This film was...funny!  The cock crowed at least three times. If cocks crowing are funny to you...then THIS is the film for you!  Jesus denied,  but at least acknowledged.  Redemption was not a pre-thought, an after-thought, or even a conceivable notion.

  It is probably a sin of some kind to enter the theater for this film. If you are the religious sort,  and still choose to go....'pre-emptive prayer'  might be in order:  "  Dear Jesus,  please forgive me for what I am about to do........"






Saturday, November 28, 2015

Moray Eels



                                                             Moray Eels



                               Moray eels
                               
                                  know how it feels
                               
                                    in a dark and lonely place.

                              In holes they hide

                                With rocks confide

                                    in their cold and clammy space.

                             They shivver-quivver as they wait,

                                 for much do they anticipate

                                    a guest to pass their unsuspecting dorm.

                             A guest!  He passes!
                       
                                  And is invited in!
                             
                                     But the water is murky, and the light is dim

                              and he swims right past the eel's unnoticed home.

                            Moray eels

                                know how it feels

                                   in a dark and lonely place.

                             In holes they hide

                                With rocks confide

                                   in their cold and clammy space..



                                                                                                                                                       elrok

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Prayers of an Irish Mother..."Tomorrow's Far Away"'

          

Oh Father....
Guide these faltering steps today--
'Lest I should fall

Tomorrow....
Ah! ...tomorrow far away.
Today is all.

If I can keep my feet
  'til evening tide time..
Night...will bring rest

Then stronger grown tomorrow
   I will climb
with ever zest!

Oh, let me stoop to no unworthiness..
     in pain, or in
                  sorrow---
Nor bear from yesterday one bitterness!
On 'til tomorrow!

Then Father guide these
searching eyes today,
Thy path to see

Be patient with my feebleness;
The way is steep to Thee...

                                               ( Elizabeth Pickering)

(prayer of an Irish mother)

Elrok Movie Review: 'Bridge of Spies"

52 year old single divorced bachelor Dad.  Not a personal ad,  though I am used to that kind of rejection.  But this.  THIS!  When did it come to THIS!   I  was snubbed when taking my dear daughter and friends to see "The Hunger Games".  The odd man out,  this anticipated but still painful type of rejection had me heading to the next theater in a somewhat somber sigh. Thus, this movie review for "Bridge of Spies".

Having said "no thanks, Tom Hanks" in the past,  seeing him here sent me into a slight cringe. The bosom buddy had me 'sleepless' last time out,  thinking about the wasted 50 bucks spent on a crappy movie and popcorn,  a subject of a previous review.

This  'spy' movie was better than the recent  "BOND"  flick,  but what exactly does that say. The latest BOND movie sucked. Did this one just suck less?

Not sure,  but I think Hanks may have forced a cameo of a piece in his  not so famous typewriter collection.  It was evident that this movie focused on the nostalgic memories of the time.  It was fun to see some of the old cars, clearly staged street setting and signage ,  crude cameras, and museum borrowed  'spy' equipment not so cleverly staged for you from the 1950's.

That was fun.

The rest made me kinda sick.

Most of the patrons 20 years my senior were singing this movie's praises...probably because it re-ignited the synapses in old memories whose fire had become an ash covered ember. Spies..lies....rooting for the bad guy...not knowing which is which...love your country....hate your country...love your enemy... fear and angst of nuclear holocaust...hate your enemy...America is a principled nation....America is a hypocritical nation....  Spielberg succeeded if it was his intent to make you hate the whole curs-ed game.

This movie actually had my mind searching for Beatles John Lennon song  "IMAGINE"....and attempting to pluck it's commie like lyrics to my minds forefront,  .... conjuring dreams of leaving all the bullcrap behind to go live in a small fishing village in South America.

Wasn't blown away...but if you are heading into your 70's and want a shot of nostalgia,  this might be a good one for the Tuesday matinee after feasting from the Denny's senior menu. And as for Tom Hanks....he's got a unique face.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Elrok movie review: "Spectre", Jame Bond 007

Spectre

I waited....and waited...and waited...    No  naked silhouettes. No shadows! Just the real thing.  Guess I shoulda seen "The Writing on the Wall" ...but I even stayed through 15 minutes of credit rolls. Please naked shadows...please redeem this movie in the end with those sexy and sensual shadowy  silhouettes !   It didn't happen.

Like any good franchise, the ending left us with with unanswered questions intended to evoke curiosity in the audience and create a segue to the next film.  This is the pertinent question that this movie left us all asking:  "Where the F@#* did that 300 million dollars go?!!?"  Seriously, ...three-hundred million dollars?  One of the most expensive movies in history?  No naked shadows?

Spectre was a ghost of a movie...an apparition..a slight of hand. For 300 mil,  at least you could have had a cameo by Edward Snowden,   or clandestinely summoned plot advice from "Anonymous".  Prerequisite for casting was that all actors had to be under 5'10.  Enter Christoph Waltz,   a.k.a. Lord Farquaad.  Brought back memories of that 1977 song by Randy Newman called " Short People"..'got no reason to live'. Neither does hero nor villain in this flick,  nor the franchise if  the cockiness of English film producers thinks they can sell the American public Fish 'n Chips  without the fish...,   creating a movie that fell far short of the mark.

Aging Bond got laid twice, at least. I wasn't happy for him. I wondered if he, like his bulletproof but gadgetless gadget car,  failed miserably in bed and left his guests wanting....but by the time he reached for his Viagra...the mood had passed and it was too late!  ...his latest sexual conquest heading for the door as he struggles to make 'it' work.  There were six people in the theater..and two left 75 minutes in.  Maybe going home for a little lovin' action will fill the void created by the impotence of this film..

Sean Connery...Roger Moore....even the "short"-lived   Pierce Brosnan,  created a suave and debonaire aura that left you believing that maybe...just maybe....that sweet young morsel that Bond just 'did' ,  might actually have been swooned by a secret agent's handsome-ness and class. Tight ass-ed taylored suits and supposedly studly posing by Daniel Craig was crass, ..not class.

Wait for the DVD.  Wait until it has been raining for a week.  Wait until this 'ghost' of a Bond film redeems itself with a film worthy of the franchise.  Gheeiiishhhh! 

Veteran's Day Fishing Report, Halifax River Daytona

Thanks to our Veterans!

 Veteran's Day Fishing Report,  November 11, 2015.

The Halifax River....

Well...almost fifty years now.....fishing up and down the banks of this river.  And though it has seen better days,  it is still somewhat encouraging to be able to throw a cast net,...or toss a line almost ANY where along it's 25 miles of shoreline,  and catch at least a little something.

The better days?  Oysters and clams were once catchable and edible!  The oyster bars thrived...and held within them a small family of  mussels, mud crabs, blue crabs, dogfish, crayfish, and many small unknown species that sought protection in their shallow depths above the jagged sharp edges of the thriving oysters!

Now, it isn't as if it has been poisoned by a civilization carelessly dumping raw sewage,  chemicals, trash, plastic, or motor oil into it.  And the area is not a bustling Metropolis that has forgotten about nature ,...   lost in their own little sea of tall buildings, concrete and steel, and fabricated reality.

The population is not immense...but ignorance and carelessness in a growing community has kept ecology to the wayside,  as more and more people choose that fabricated reality.  Building a sewage treatment plant was one of the plans with good intentions,  but unfortunately paved the way to an ecological disaster.  It removed common conscience, and any real concern from the local citizenry, or from local politics. They had done their duty,,..spent their tax dollars, embraced technology, and resigned responsibility to their local politicians.  The city of Daytona Beach is permitted to dump 20  MILLION GALLONS  of (treated) sewage water A DAY onto this river!  And it exceeds that routinely!   The poor river doesn't know what hit it.  Boasting a 99% purity rate, could potentially put TWENTY THOUSAND GALLONS OF RAW SEWAGE A DAY into this river. For math rats, that's 7 million three-hundred thousand gallons of whatever you flushed down your toilet...every year. And for statistics rats,  we all know that pundits will tout their BEST statistics,  not their worst..

Floridian's know about black ice.  It's that first 30 minutes of rain on the local roads that floats all the engine oil, transmission oil, worn tire rubber, diesel, etc. to the surface and creates a virtual automobile slip-n-slide. Now up north,  it's a sheet of ice.  Here, luckily, after a half-hour or so....all that scum , grit, chemical, greasy, oily soup gets washed away...and then we can glide along happily on our highways with some friction!

But it's not gone.  The toxic concoction is washed into the poor Halifax,  through hundreds of storm drains and through general runoff, hitting it with a near bell-ringer as it's defenses in filtering oyster beds , vast estuaries, and natural unobstructed flow....are taken from her. All of that fertilizer, ..pesticides in ant killer, cinch bug killer, and the poisons to kill all of them bastardly bugs that might make a brown spot on your lawn and your status in the neighborhood. Lavished on your lawn with a loving sanctimony, feeding a weed type grass that obviously does not belong there..., your concerns an ethereal fantasy of how the neighbors look on your lawn with envy. The world truly ends...at the tip of your nose.

But we have houses to build, and cars to buy...and an internet to distract us from anything going on out there anyway.   These are our priorities, for our time.  Perhaps, one day a million years from now when we are gone,  the Halifax River will have her day again...

But onto the fishing report!   Started off at 6 am with the free-lined finger mullet.  Laying into a small snook on a Zara Spook hiding in the grass a couple days ago,  got  me dreaming  of that elusive 65 pounder!  So, I cast netted two live finger mullet,  and sent them onto their destiny.  I named them!      (my finger mullet). Tweedle Dee, ..and Tweedle Dumb.

 Now , for those of you who have used these small flittering baits before,  you might know why I gave them these names.  There are two types of finger mullet. There are the scuba divers,   and there are snorklers!   I hate scuba divers.  No matter what you try,  the go straight down to the bottom like they're not suppose to. Yank'em, rehook'em, break a fin, coax'em, curse'em...they are going deep no matter what you do.  I call these the "tweedle dumbs"...but they are probably pretty damn smart!  'Cause what you are SUPPOSE to be doing, is what 'tweedle dee' over here is doing.  Snorkling!    Floating around on the top making sweet little rippling circles that create a prehisoric and carnal RAGE in redfish, snook, gator trout, bluefish, jack crevalle, and pelicans. They will eat you even though their belly is already bursting and full from  morning breakfast. Irresistable..

By the time I got to tweedle dee, though....the sun had come up blazing,  and it was only a two pound jack crevalle that couldn't control himself and take the bait.  "Tweedle Dees".. are Jack crack,  and they can't get enough!

Resorted to some mushy dead shrimp that my nephew  JT had so graciously given me 8-months ago.  They thawed quickly in the rising sun. And though all juveniles, I caught a variety of fish that you can only reap from salt-water fishing,.., the best kind of fishing.  Mangrove Snapper, Sailor's Choice, Mudcat, Sailcat, Sting Ray, Croaker, Sculpin (or Robinfish?).  All too small, and probably anxious to leave the oyster barren river soon.

Well, good luck!   Remember to fish the unregulated species for a more productive venture! Throw everything else back, because you might end up with a hefty fine if your greedy little selfish hands are in possession any of the over 160 regulated Florida aquatic species.  Remember though,  it's because you have been greedily catching way too many fish,. (You and that 57 year old Grandma on the shore line with her cane pole.)! Or, perhaps, the regulated species have been decimated by a neglected  and conveniently ignored environment,  subjugated  by our own vision of sugar plums in a modern fabricated reality. Tight lines! :)




Monday, November 9, 2015

"LOOPER" movie review

"LOOPER" movie review: Gotta love Bruce Willis...( father and husband to Demi Moore, uncle and brother to Ashton). Always looks like....at any time....he just might go apeshit on your ass! And in this movie...he doesn't disappoint! Murders toddlers to end his own personal "loop" of hell. Still blowing people away with shotguns in 2044. Still zapping eachother with tasers. Yet another "Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. ". Once again, you don't know which bad guy to root for! Oh yeah...the one who wins! Kid called "Rainmaker" was not as scary as some of my nephews at that age. Telekinetically budding genius Macgyver can make tech savvy gadgets with his LEGGO set, pierce human flesh with sonic screams, levitate everything in a 10 mile radius.....but can't remember his mother's face. "LOOPER" was'nt a pooper.....thanks to casting. Needed less shotguns and more sci-fi. Fun enough to watch the first time, but not something to endure again and again and again and again....like some un-ending loop of hell. Oh yeah...that was the movie! Won't be anxiously waiting for the DVD....

Movie review: "Cloud Atlas"

 Movie review: "Cloud Atlas"
If this movie appealed to you, you either have your head in the "clouds", ....or your head up your atlas. Not enough OMG's or WTF's to cover 164 minutes of cinema seat butt wrenching torture. The seats could have been made from clouds, and butt still would-a hurt. (the kind of thing you don't notice when a movie is actually good) Thank goodness the nachos kept us occupied through the first 45 minutes. Tom Hanks, bosom buddy .... your affability kept us awake in "Sleepless in Seattle" , and romping on piano keys was "BIG" fun for a while, but you have been a "CASTAWAY" for me ever since your face appeared on a mystical choo-choo train. Every actor's narcissism takes them where you have landed, ...on a toxic dustCLOUD on the way to your endeavor to be an artist....instead of an entertainer. No wonder it rains so much in Seattle. Yes, yes...I get it....we are all ripples in the pond of life. Thank you for another Hollywood attempt to explain eternity. This movie touts it's ability to "masterfully weave" characters throughout eternity...and "masterfully heaves" a bucket of puked up chaos. Thank goodness Halle Berry still has some hotness. See this movie if you like to visit the snack bar, or enjoy hanging out in a dark theatre filled with groaning and rustling seats. Poor movie patrons were reduced to begging for a coupla good one-liners. No thanks, Tom Hanks.

Crowded

Forgot author...this was in an old book in Ma's garage, and I committed it memory, but forgot the author. Maybe it was Author Fonzerelli??
Within my earthly temple ...there's a crowd
There's one of us who's humble...one who's proud ...
There's one who's broken hearted for his sins...,
And one who ..un-repentent...sits and grins!
There's one who loves his neighbor as himself....
And one who cares for naught but fame and pelf.
From much foreboding care would I be free
If for once I could determine...which is me!
- Author Fonzerelli-

Movie review: RISE OF THE GUARDIANS

Movie review: RISE OF THE GUARDIANS
All of your magical and mystical heroes of childhood that gave you joy, hope, and happiness, and peaceful sleep must "rise up" against an all consuming darkness and fear call "Pitch". (As in pitch black I guess). Sort of a "FANTASTIC FOUR" team of good against evil. Santa is Russian, Easter Bunny is Australian, Sand Man is a mute, ToothFairy is a hummingbird or something, and JACK FROST...(who looks like Brendan) is a childhood hero who finally got his glory for an unselfish act that cost him his life as a child. This was entertaining for the kiddies, but I am waiting to hear what Buddy The Elf thinks before I give it the one thumb up. I'm a bit confused, because I thought "THE ROCK" was the tooth fairy now. Light fun entertainment for the kids and Dad.

Movie review: " RED DAWN"

Movie review: " RED DAWN"
Chubby child star Josh Peck sheds his baby fat to take on Russian sponsored North Korean's as they successfully invade the United States. Their goal? Well, nothing short of world domination, of course. Thankfully, Josh ( formerly Drake and Josh silly sitcom bumbling brother) is there and "Found a Way" to lead the revolt . 
Newt Gingrich warned us, and it finally happened. A high altitude nuclear burst disables modern society and allows the damn commies to rain angry North Koreans all over the U.S. of A. And they ain't happy. Kim Jong-un must a found out about the rat poison the CIA fed his pappy.....and is comin' for revenge!
This movie somehow made you feel good about a communist takeover. Follows typical Hollywood plot lines.....kills off black guys first, and most of the good guys are killed off but...it's okay with us because they saved the hot blonde! Please, kill whoever you have to....but not the hot blonde chick!!. Sheeewsh! Had me goin' for a while there......but it's okay....everything's okay. She survives.
You must allow yourself to enter the fantasy on this one. Then, it's an okay flick. If Josh can lead the Revolt...then any one of us can...right?!

A Bicycle ride with Cynical Luke...

A Bicycle ride with Cynical Luke...
Bike riding. Healthy stuff. Bonding with daughter. Girlie giggles echoing against the dorky drawl of Dad. It's only the beginning. Jogging by next week. Tennis coming in the afternoons. Lifting weights by Christmas. Bulging biceps by June. Old body renewed...It will all begin with the healthful bike ride to the Winn-Dixie with my sweet daughter.
Front brakes didn't work. Glided through a stop sign with a stupid grin on myface. Got the "number one" from oncoming old coot. He was probably only a coupla years older than me. Turned on to less traveled street. Gulped down half a cloud of white flies. Got to intersection. Splashed through a rank smelling puddle. Not a germpo-phob, but I think I may have typhoid. Chain came off. My last pair of good jeans are three years old anyway. Shadowed a diesel furniture truck most of the way in traffic. Alveoli stiffening. Avoided puffy dead possum. ( or was he really dead??). Took an old shortcut that does'nt exist anymore. Jumped a curb that made my back spasm. Was offered change and half a old sandwich at intersection. Tried to return red box flick with Brendan's Mortal Combat in it. Wasted 25 bucks on the latest lotto scratch-off. Envied illicit freedom of dumpster divers while riding down the back of the old W/D. Somehow, some way stopped by Ormonds famous "Ghost train " at RR crossing. Cellphone jostled out of my pocket....daughter picked up and gave me the pity smirk. Gears stopped shifting....got stuck in tenth gear. Home is uphill all the way. Stomach cramps from activities unrelated to computer. Forgot milk. Squished bread. Double bagging ice cream sandwiches did'nt work out. New bike added to already cumbersome Christmas list. Black cat crossed path on way home. Orange cat ...I'm sorry...I thought for sure he would move.! (He did , but the way he looked at me when I passed him made black cats seem lucky) . Ate ultra large and Mega healthy Three Musketeers bar before entering driveway so no-one else would discover it. ..........ready for another ride tomorrow. This health kick is gonna kill me....

Movie Review: "The Hobbit"

Movie Review: "The Hobbit"
Remember "Bedknobs and Broomsticks?" .."Escape to Witch Mountain"? If you do, I am sorry for reminding you. But this little 'ad-ven-cha' should help heal the scars. However, you must see it in IMAX-3D. Then, no matter how shallow the story line, you've always got something flying in your face to keep you from comatose and in defense mode. Remember to take the little ones....so you can use them as a shield while pretending to hold them up for a better look.
Drawrves...elves...trolls...ogres..but where are the friggin' gnomes?! What about gnomes,huh...huh!? Spent 45 minutes obsessing about this seemingly sinful omission before rationalizing that gnomes are merely cartoonish smurflike garden toys and did not belong in this movie. Right?!?
Who the hell knows?! Where exactly is 'middle earth'.?! What exactly is a "Hobbit"?! Where is 'Harry Potter"?! Mental gaps created by these plexing questions were filled by the sounds of gurgling bongs and gatherings around a 6-month game of "Dungeons and Dragons". Fantasy's oblivion. The answers lie there.
The Hobbit is Dudley Moore, I think. wink emoticon He is a domesticated quasi-elf with elephantitus of the feet. The movie claims him as the title, but his character is hammered into secondary status with an onslaught of characters and cinematic special effects that will keep you captivated throughout most of 170 minutes.
IMAX 3d two thumbs up. That's pretty good considering where the other thumb usually is. Fantasy's oblivion......

Movie Review ..."Now You See Me"

Movie Review ..."Now You See Me"
A unique and fun approach in Hollywood's latest attempt at creating another franchise. They may have just pulled another rabbit outta their hat! Magicians are your superheroes, inspired by their own vain desires to be the headlining act....and drawing from the unlimited potential the mysteries of magic can provide.
What you probably want to know, is whether or not the movie deserves almost two full hours of your attention.
........(sorry....cellphone is ringing. I'll be right back.....)

Movie Review: "Wolf of Wall Street"

Movie Review: "Wolf of Wall Street"
Porn with a plot? Not much of one. Yes, I took my dear daughter and son to see this much anticipated flick. I was reminded of when I took them to see "Ted".....that laughable love-able teddy bear movie made for children of all ages. The scars fading, I was able to renew them in this movie about a "wolf".
The "stars" in this movie finally got to fulfill their lifelong fantasy. To star in a porn flick! And perhaps, emerge....as artists who poignantly painted pictures of wealth and greed in the '90s stock trading market.
The original "Wolf of Wall Street" was a silent film , as I understand. This one could have been silent as well...., and you would have gotten the picture. Sex, drugs, money, greed, ..and then more sex.
Yes, I was on the edge of my seat throughout the whole movie! Should I lean over to cover my daughters eyes? Should I get up and leave, pretending I don't like sex? Should I send my son to the snack bar for another round of Nacho's? This movie would keep any caring parent on the edge of their seat! But then again, we have the internet. We don't have NetNanny. Maybe this will help with the whole "birds and the bees " thing. You know, without any loving subtlety....
See this flick! Then, see it again with the volume all the way down! Then I think you will truly get the picture.......

Movie Review: "Lone Survivor"

Movie Review: "Lone Survivor"
Ouch! Bring home the pain! This movie will be the most pain many of us have felt in regards to our country being at war. I truly heard sobbing at the end of this flick, and turned to see ...perhaps peacenicks turned prideful, ...perhaps patriots hearts daggered....as an action packed movie about our war in Afghanistan churned up emotion in even the most skeptical hearts. Representative of the MANY unsung heroes that 'fend our freedom, praises were sung today.
Though the Hollywood version of events, I can't help think that reality was much, much worse. I hate war. Detest the very concept of sanctifying killing. But as I gently cast my rubber lure over the calm waters of the Halifax River this morning, I count myself lucky I guess....basking in warm the Florida sun, unscathed....
See this movie if you think you need a dose of reality. Leave about five minutes early to avoid bringing the reality home...

Fishing Report

Fishing Report/ November 2015
For those using the right bait, Mudcats have been stacking up along the bottom... all over the Halifax. Cut yourself an extry long stringer, as I believe this one of the few fish left that you can not limit out on. And while you're
on the bottom, be sure to drag some baits at a slow pace. While spooking away the regulated flounder, some mighty hefty skates will move in and happily take your bait! They lay nice and flat, like a stack of delicious Sunday mornin' pancakes , on the bottom of your boat, and you will hardly notice them as your water line sinks 3 or 4 inches in the course of an afternoon. If midday action seems slow, make a strategic move near some pilings with some stink bait. Regulated sheepshead should shun this....leaving your bait wide open for the ever envied dogfish. Greatly underestimated for it's food value because it is so gosh darn ugly....there is a great piece of sweet white edible flesh just behind it's devilish green eyes and the poison glands near the pectoral fins. And give the poor booger something to bite on...while removing this tasty morsel.
Well that's it for November fishing report. Be sure to stay clear of anything that is regulated for a happier, more productive expedition. And don't forget the stink bait. Tight lines......! Elrok

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Elrok movie review: SKYFALL "Spectre" coming November 16

Spectre coming November 16 
"SKYFALL"....movie review....
Wow! The first 15 minutes of this movie had me on the edge of my seat in suspense. I was thinking..."naked shadows.....naked shadows...where's the naked shadows?!?!". Finally, the naked silhouettes that stunned you at thirteen, re-appeared in contemporary but classic "Bond" fashion. Ahhhh....now the movie can begin! A thriller that pits man against "Matrix" as an aging "Bond" takes on a comic book type villain bent on revenge. Movie wants you form a sort of. .."bond" with "Bond", as a glimpse of his tortured childhood is revealed and he actually sheds a tear. Or was that sweat dripping off the edge of his nose in the end? You make the call! Yeah....go see it. When you gotta fight the urge to empty some of that half-gallon movie soda pop.....there's probably good reason. No liquids, caffeine, or other diuretics for 12 hours before movie. Sit in the back of the theater in case you really have to make the quick dash to keep bladder from exploding.

Monday, November 2, 2015

Introducing SUPERHERO "Lavender Luke "

           He's a 'different' kind of Superhero. Born without x-ray vision, unable to leap tall buildings in a single bound...aids societies ills with magic...in a bag filled with lavender teas, lavender epsom salts, and of course....two holsters of POSTUM! ......Lavender Luke                                  

  Lavender Luke

It's going to really hurt to ask....
What monstrous things might you unmask?
When you dare to strike the path
to  Lavender Luke..
And though his genes can't be his fault
He's found some lust in Epsom Salt
Which made his Lavender-less pores exalt!
Lavender Luke!
What kind of man would dare to bathe
and think his macho be unscathed
while drinking Postum made for gays?
That man is Lavender Luke!
And so the salty crystals soak
A Queersome man to many folk
...but it's worth the fun they'll poke..
Lavender Luke
With thanks to my sister Wanda,  for  helping me in some trying times, by sending me love in the form of lavender tea and lavender epsom salts!   Real men don't cry at movies or take bubble baths alone, ain't that right?  You are my favorite sister named Wanda. << ( thanks Will :)  )