Friday, March 30, 2018

How I Met My Boss

  How I Met My Boss..


Well, it wasn't a handshake really.
 I was running late on my delivery route...and so did not take the time to empty my bladder from the four sixteen ounce bottles of Mountain Dew I had drunk in order to jack myself up enough to get back on time,  and 'perhaps'... avoid  the ire of our contemptuous leaders.

The problem:.... I really, REALLY had to go!

For about five hours straight!...

Rolling beads of sweat covered my upper lip...and I could feel my blood pressure reaching stroke levels. On the last mile of my return , my reassuring mind started telling me how "it wouldn't be long now"...and my body had started to slowly let itself start the countdown to the 'urinary release' in the bathroom back at the office.
 When I got back, I parked the truck...and wasted no time in a fast-paced (but bladder controlling ;)  scurry to the restroom!
Nobody was around, so I had already started the process of unzipping my fly and unbuttoning my trousers.....as I busted through the bathroom door! 
.... My pants were unbuttoned and my fly was down as I feverishly reached in for the ...'final withdrawal'....at the urinal. 
Just I burst through the door, I ran straight into my new boss , who was RIGHT THERE!....kneeling on the floor ..and  tying his shoe.
I will end the story there...


Friday, March 9, 2018

The Clutches of Hope



There are times,  when "Hope"...should NOT spring eternal..
"Hope"...can sometimes be a dangerous detachment from reality!
Hoping that he will change...
Hoping that things will be different someday...
Hoping that the toxicity in your life will someday magically disappear..
Hoping that a personal  saviour will come someday to 'fix'  things..

Sometimes HOPE,...  is an exercise in futility.  It can keep you from taking the necessary actions that  invoke real remedy.

It's time to let go of these things that hold you.
It's time to leave the things that keep you here.
Help yourself end...the struggle that gets you nowhere!
   This security of hope, will end in despair!
Daylight comes,  and you close your eyes...and dream of night forthcoming.
And when night comes...you dream again!

Precious hope is just a dream that gives you immortality..
This hope that only muffles screams...screams that are reality!

Feel your fingers slipping from the clutches of HOPE!
   What happens when you lose it?
            Time passes while you wonder.
             Time stands still while you wait.
It's time to let go of the things that keep you here...to leave the security of hope..