Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Election Results In! Verified!! Santa new Prez in 2013!

      He finally did it!   In a presidential race that proved closer than any in history....the results are final.  It seems that in an unlikely turn of events,  and a vain attempt to prove  machismo... both Mitt Romney aund Barack Obama  lost to Donald Trump in a spontaneous arm wrestling match in a small Irish pub in South Jersey. The stakes:   Drop out of the race if you lose.  If you win....well, you are not a wimp!
       Little did they know that under Donalds pale pencil pushing white arms, was millions of dollars worth of the best steroid technology known to man and Lance Armstrong. Both of them were pinned by Trump in seconds. Game Over!
     The third most votes went to, of course, SANTA CLAUS!   Disgruntled and apathetic voters finally got their wish.   What a day for history!
     No comment from Santa yet,  but we should expect a few words from him after his his annual sleighride around the world.    Can't wait to see what is left in his magical sack!
      Coming in behind Santa:
                                                  #2   Chuck Norris
                                                  #3   Mickey Mouse
                                                  #4  Chef Boy-ar-dee
                                                  #5  Tupok
                                                  #6 Easter Bunny
                                                  #7  Tooth Fairy
                                                  #8 Elvis
                                                  # 9  William Shatner
                                                 #10 Will Ferrell

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Clinton's Personal Hell

Personal Hell.  I think that's where all of us hellbound will find ourselves. We won't be comingling in some seedy after-hours bar with Hitler, Stalin, Sadam , or with members of the occult.  We won't be chained to a pile of coal and whipped while stoking the flames of Satan's fiery pit .....we won't be holding hands while venerably chanting Lucifer's praises around the glowing lava.  Our Hell will be our own,  as we fall from our innocence and clamour to reclaim it.
      No matter what the history of the poor soul of Bill Clinton,  his personal Hell will be in clamouring to regain his innocence which was so publicly defiled.  He will never be free from it in this world...

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Never Fear Your Government

   Ahh, yes!   The naive principles I latched onto as  a young boy. Simple concepts conveyed to me by complex men.....often leached into conversations over the dinner table.  Truths often debated,  but never denied. ...   for truth cannot be denied.  For many, integral to their own freedom, is freedom from fear.  Freedom from fear is to trust and have faith. To trust and have faith in government, is  a desire for freedom from fear.
      I say to you that it is important to fear your government, and that you should never fear your government.  Two seemingly opposite concepts that are both true.  The next time you pass a state trooper and your heart palpitates.....that's fear.  The next time you curse the IRS at tax time...but pay anyway knowing the consequences...that's fear. The next time you concede to the oppression in order to salvage the status quo..that is fear.  When you trade your freedom for the illusion of security...it is out of fear.
    Never fear your government.  It should never control you, and certainly  never through fear.


Saturday, July 21, 2012

Women Vote Now

     A woman's right to vote just may have changed the world.  Battles...Wars...raised from hell and savagely fought for God or honor,  or perhaps from sheer boredom. Men battles. Real men. Macho men . Testosterone influenced instincts driving them to conquer and control, provide and prosper....persue and lead.

   Women vote now.  Bathed in maternal instincts which make them seek safety...security...protection for their children and families.  To nest.  To relax.  Either they chose to free themselves from the obvious oppression,  or men began to understand their value in a fast-changing world capable of destroying itself.
      We are no longer free to reign and conquer. Perhaps the idea was always just a fantasy propagated by women who were really always in control anyway. Females  , whose concerns about safety and security may have pulled us from the brink of destruction, and maybe even extinction. Or perhaps they have   lulled us all into  a  false Eden,....  voting ....to trade our  freedom for a false sense of security.
 Somehow, they have controlled us from an apples first bite. They control birth and our progeny. They have castrated us from the only thing that ever gave our lives true meaning......to conquer and wage war!    Perhaps one day, there will be an ultimate clash between the sexes,.......A "War of All Wars",......and it will be male against female....balls versus bosoms.....with the weight of gays determining the outcome....

Sunday, July 8, 2012

The Declaration of Dependence

     When in the Course of governmental actions,  it becomes convenient for a human to embrace the political bands which have seperated them , and to deny the nature of his being and the natural powers of the earth, the seperate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and Nature's God entitles him....a decent indignity to the opinions of the government kind requires that he should declare the causes that have drawn him to this dependence.
      We hold these truths to be convoluted, that all men are created unequal , and that the need or desire to excel shall be limited and regulated by the just bodies to which we declare our dependence.  That we are endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable Rights, which shall be determined by this entity to which we resign these rights,  as  they assume His role in attempt to be the leaders of Heaven on earth.  We relinquish the abhorrently troublesome persuit of Life, Liberty, or Happiness to our great and powerful leaders, the oracles to whom we are forever  indebted for the gracious gift of their genius. 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Reduced to a Number

     You are a number.   With the onset of the computer age, it has become oh so efficient to 'reduce' everyone and everything....to a number.  Then, those numbers can be.... CRUNCHED!.
What happens when everything is reduced to a number?  What happens when YOU have been reduced to a number?  Why,  you have been REDUCED.  Will you accept that the bright and colorful spectrum of your human  soul, your personality, .....of your humanity ...will only be expressed in black....or white?   The awesome efficiency of disregarding, squelching, homogenizing, oppressing...reducing...the human spirit by expressing it in a statistic or number.......dims the wonderous light that is carried in each of us.
     You are more than a number.  In this era of computers, there has been a subtle and subconscious ....but real..assault on your humanity.   For all of the work put into it, it will always be lacking. It is a lazy and unthinking, frustrated  skill-less and artless undertaking. Those who embrace the numbers ,  have actually 'succumbed' to the numbers,  because dealing with people on a human level has become much to difficult for them. Only love people with no math skills.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

I Can't Find It!

    As children, sometimes we give up...before we begin.  Instant mental depression when told to clean up our room! Six months of clothes , games, and candywrappers.  Old socks or new? Washed or clean? Do I have to smell'um?  Better to close the door and hide the mess.  We were overwhelmed.
    Rather than beginning to even challenge the convoluted quagmire that has tentacled itself around our beating hearts....we have given up.  The task seems overwhelming now, as we have rested on our laurels....or someone elses laurels...and allowed decades of garbage to pile up as we thoughtlessly gazed into fantasy's oblivion.
      How would you approach a seemingly overwhelming task today?  Would you attempt to feed off fantasy until your life's end? Or would you confront reality and pick it apart...piece by piece ...until you conquered it?  Would you, like a child, close the door...overwhelmed....and give up,  before you begin?
      There is a truth in the value of freedom. Truth finds a way of revealing itself. Somewhere....under the garbage...it will be found by those who have taken on the task to uncover it.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Bound by Freedom

       In your elusive quest for freedom, have you become bound by the illusion. Are you freedom bound, or bound by freedom's illusion. What will you sacrifice to keep the dream alive? Will you cannibalize the reality to maintain the fantasy?
       Your dream is important! But do not make it a mere fantasy. While you wait, hope, and meander in the fantasy, reality is changing. Will you wake up?   ....or will you comatose, atrophy....surrender to being spoon fed.  Reality of oppression nears, as you acclimate and assimilate.....As you sleep to keep the dream alive.....you slowly kill it with your complacency.
     Tasers, redlight cameras, patriot act, sopa.....pipa...the irs...trillion dollar federal budgets...pride in legislation....judgement before trial...the most incarcerated nation in the known universe.  Symptoms of an illness whose cure won't be found while quivering under the bedsheets.......

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Shallow Hal

     " I am deeply superficial" (-  Zsa Zsa Gabor)   Do we really hate Newt Gingrich because his first name reminds us of a lizard, and his last name reminds us of the Grinch?  Do we like Mitt Romney because his first name reminds us of America's favorite sport, and because of our affinity for ramen noodles?   Is the vote going to be cast for the most handsome, the most photogenic, the most likely to win?   Will we vote for a loser because he can win? Please tell me we did not vote in Obama because he is black.
        I have heard from many men that their wife is the most beautiful woman in the world.  Their eyes see beneath the layers of crackling sagging skin and graying hair. The beauty they see comingled with the heart they have grown to know.
       It's time to vote ugly. All the handsome in the world won't ease the pain. How can we see through to the heart if we are all so deeply superficial?
      Eliminate political parties. No democrat....no republican...no libertarian...no wig or tea party.   Line'em up with bags over their heads. Listen to what they are saying! Try to find their hearts.  Compensate them without money. Empower them with your lust for freedom. Enlighten them with the radiance of your soul. You must fight for your stolen innocence..

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Jumping Out Of Airplanes

      We are in the last year. 2012.  Thanks to the insights of oracles like the Maya and Nostradamus,  we can now plan for the ultimate end.  Will we kneel down and pray?  Or will we jump out of airplanes? Chuteless?  Hang glide the Grand Canyon. Parasail over Jurassic Park.  One lump or two?  Why TWO, of course. Make that three. And yes, I want it biggie sized, and I do want fries with that. Will they even ask anymore?  Should I stock a cave in the mountains with post-apocalyptic canned goods. Hey!  Remember she said she wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on earth!   Well maybe you can finally put that one  to the test. Was your time well spent,...or well wasted? Will you attach new credibility to country music?  Is there such thing as a new cliche'? Ahhh...how about a time capsule?  Never mind,...your local dump has that covered. You could cancel your next dental exam.  Won't be needing the chompers.What will we do now that we must live like we are dying?  It's time to empty that 401-k.  Give that nasty boss of yours a piece of your mind.  Tell the kids they won't need to go to college!! Look for a comet to collect your soul?  Crumple to the ground in remorse for the life you've lived....or stare straight into the heavens with arms outspread as you receive eternal damnation?  What is Fiji really like?  All those hours toiling over the crabgrass and dollarweed in your lawn.....days...months...years....manicuring, landscaping, feeding....watering....getting rid of the bugs...And still !!  the neighbors grass is greener.  Does the world still end at the tip of your nose?   Or will the impending doomsday give birth to burgeoning brain receptors capable of telepathic empathy?  Will you find inner peace?  Can you save the world? Does it really matter?
      Dont panic!  There are still a few months left !!  Maybe. Grab a bean bag chair and fling it down the stairs to the basement. Pop open some of that vintage wine and have a seat. Watch some old home movies and reminisce.   Then grab your tab and book that flight to Fiji.  In your mind, you are there already...