There she is.....suffering her 7th trip to the mailbox...this fragile spoiled brat turned 64. She hates that trip to the mailbox...leaving the air conditioned comfort of the Multi Million dollar home she hopes to inherit from her aging Proctologist boyfriend . She hates that dive from the humidity free cold and comfortable house.
"Oh my God!!! I'm sweating!" she grumbles to herself as she voices her daily complaints to that sweet little mail lady working hard in the Florida sun. "Why are you so late today?!" " Where's my package?!" " You're getting sweat all over my mail!!!"
She weakly snatches the bundle of mail from the mail lady with her pale muscle free white arms that have never seen the sun or experienced labor.She rolls her eyes and listlessly strolls back into the good Doctor's house. She swoops her short gray painted blonde cupie doll curl around the side of her ear ...a haircut that somebody told her looked " cute" but really didn't mean it.
Today is her 7th trip to the mailbox. You see...today....there was an opportunity she simply could not miss! An opportunity to exhibit HER greatest skill. Acquired from her mother and practiced on the daily until she became , well almost, ...a PROFESSIONAL! And she is GOOD at it!!
She's a PROFESSIONAL PRUDE!
Those seven trips to the mailbox today....were a scouting mission.
"There's a damned boat parked on the river ...right in front of my house!" "I don't like it! "
She spies and takes pictures on her 7 trips.....eager to contact the authorities to remove this boat
....on the river
....in front of her house.
She spends another three hours on the front porch of her house, making phone calls to the city, to the state, to FWC, to the govenah!
To rid herself of this EYESORE!!
...A boat
....on the river
.......in front of her house.
Ridiculous, I know!
But not in Ormond Beach.
The city actually responded and acted on her complaints...even though the boat owner had pro-actively and pre-emptively gone down to city hall and told them he would be there for a short term.
He even informed FWC...on the same day, knowing that the old Prude's picture-taking was not for her photo album.
They gave him the okay, but went back out a week later anyway at her 'command' to scrutinize every little detail of his craft to see if they could come up with something to discourage his short stay . I know they felt like little bitches doing her dirty work. And frankly, they were exactly that.
Florida has changed.
Ormond Beach , once a sweet little neighborly marine community...has succumbed to the almighty dollar, as most of Florida's cities have. Less than 10 percent of dock owners in the area actually have a boat. They live here for the investment of their riverfront property and imagine the sparkling ripples glistening in the morning sun cover a beautiful river filled with dolphins and seagulls and marine life.
They have no idea.
Underneath those glistening ripples is a sludge filled reservoir of effluent and road drainage. Municipalities like Ormond Beach have poisoned the river! Killed the once thriving beds of oysters and sand filled with clams. Devastated the very bottom of the food chain, ..which is the lifeblood and sustainance for the ENTIRE food chain.
They have killed thousands upon thousands of the federally protected manatee....while citing boaters for going too fast though manatee zones. Misplaced ideals, conveniently prioritized for the per suit of the almighty dollar. Killing off Florida's once Holy Waterways to fill the city coffers with a load of shopping money.....so they can "rebuild" the boat ramp (with absolutely NO foresight for the boater lol) and erect useless and confusing medians and 'speed bumps"... and hundreds of thousand of dollars in flashing yellow lights.
But what about the river? What about your infrastructure, Ormond Beach? While you waste taxpayer money on frivolousness and decorations, you effectively murder your environment, ...including thousands of the federally protected manatee.
Misplaced priorities? Nope !
Flagrant disregard! .... which has, as of yet, gone without the penalties or repercussions that might help them to develop a conscience..
Ormond Beach is now New York...New Jersey.....and the sweetness of Southern Hospitality has left the building like Elvis.
It is DEAD!
These northerners have displaced the natives, and bring their rudeness and New York politics with them.
BEWARE!
Take note of what they have done to New Jersey, New York.. They clamor to GTFO of New York, ...yet bring the same sad politics that wreaked havoc on their cities up north...to Florida. To Ormond Beach .
It's a crying shame.
Ormond Beach.....you should be ashamed of yourself!
But you aren't ashamed, now are you...
The sight of those city coffers has blinded you to the harsh reality of your careless murderous ways. You have killed the Halifax.
And the manatee.
And thousands of creatures who once thrived on your poisoned oyster bars only to go belly-up on the shoreline from red tides.
Underneath the sheen of that river is a poisoned cesspool. And YOU are responsible.
And as you cater to the whims of Prudish Ormond.....you sanctify the un-sanctifiable. What a shame.
Ormond is no longer a boating community. The neighborhoods once filled with friendliness and good Southern hospitality...are GONE! Once a fishing community...the fish are GONE!! There's a toxic layer of sludge and poisons from hundreds of road drains and millions of gallons of effluent that carry poisons from community toilets and from thousands of acres of new roadways and parking lots.
It is no longer Ormond Beach.
The Halifax is no longer a living river.
If you see a seagull out there and it somehow satisfies your illusions, take a trip to your county dump. There's seagulls there too.
Time to leave.
I know, I know...GOOD RIDDANCE! Right? You don't need a conscience...and you don't need someone who cares. So Good-bye, Florida man! Go away! We got coffers of cash! We got Prudish! We don't need the likes of YOU!! And conscience is for Church! .... not city hall.
Go away, Southern Man, Go Away! Die like the manatee.....
.
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