The State of the Onion

Once again, the state of the onion is bringing me to tears. No matter how I slice it.
 It is a "strong" onion!   Not a vidalia, but an obama  onion.  Inarguably rankerous.
 I would like to know just exactly who to thank for the state of this onion.  If it was a vidalia onion,  then the state of the onion would be Georgia, and I could probably thank Jimmy Carter. But since it is an obama  onion, I am not sure of what state to thank. Is Kenya a state?  I would like to find out the truth about this onion's state!
 Someone ....just tonight...was trying to give me their opinion on this onion's state.  But this is my onion,  and I think I will form my own opinion .  From here.., it stinks.!  But this guy is all he way up in Washington D.C...and he keeps telling me that my onion doesn't stink.
  Hey dude, I think I am a little closer to this onion than you are. I think it might be just a little bit difficult to truly understand the state of my onion from way up there.  I'm telling you....it really stinks.