I never understood why they don't have a " thumbs down" button to click on in this Facebook thing.
YES,...you can be legal...and STILL have something to worry about!
At about 3 a.m. last November, while fishing in my kayak for flounder, I stopped off at the Dunlawton approach to use the restroom on my way to a couple of islands. I pulled up to the ramp and was scurrying to the restroom, when a shadowy figure suddenly appeared from behind the bridge's concrete pillar. He started walking towards me REAL FAST...and cutting me off on my hurried scamper to relieve myself because of the cold, wet night.
He did not identify himself....and, seeing as it was 3 or 330 in the morning...and we were the only two under the bridge on this dark, cold, lonely night...I thought maybe someone was coming to ROB ME!. Luckily ( in retrospect), I wasn't carrying my concealed...because I might have readied it.
I stopped and prepared myself for a potential short conversation...and shouted out a short
"Hey Hey, How's it goin'?"
There was no response.
A few steps later, my mind started to think "defense"....and I gazed back at my flounder gig and started walking 'fake'- casually toward my decked out - trolling motor- titled- and -registered -with 3" registration letters on both sides and of course , a running lights, anchor lights, life vest, whistle, flares, and my handy-dandy five year ...."yes ,you are allowed to eat catfish and puffers-but-throw-everything-else-back".... Florida Fishing License.
Regulating a Kayak!? Yup! I have on many occasions been the "easy prey" for these fellers, as they stop and empty and check the entire length of my hull for fish.... and check all my credentials for my 3mph 'lectric motor kayak....as a speedy 30 some-odd foot Cigarette boat powers through the manatee zone at 50mph.
Well anyways, I started to feel a little relief when the shadowy figure approaching began to come into view.
Sheeewsh! It was just a boy scout! Er, well,...maybe a Scoutmaster...as it was a man dressed in green khaki shorts and high tube socks and a scouts highly decorated uniform.
But uh-oh! Nope! The decoration was a BADGE...and this was " the man".
FWC!!!
I said to him " "ah,...you're the "Man! I was wonderin' who that was!"
He didn't smile or greet me or anything, just asked for all my credentials and safety equipment , then asked if I caught any fish. I was embrarassed a little, and told him "nahhh, nuthin'".. He said "Do you mind if I check your hull?"
Well of course I mind! You practically just called me a poacher and a liar!
I didn't tell him that,...I just thought it.
I practically 'begged' him if I could 'PLEASE' go use the restroom while he checked the hull. "You know how it is"...I explained.
The cold wet water, 45 degrees out, and any man knows that you start to begin the 'urine release process' in that situation WELL before you reach the urinal....so I was ready to 'power wash' some porcelain in them Dunlawton facilities, for sure.
He seemed pissed, pardon-the-pun...but gave me the okay.
It took me about 3 1/2 min to empty the bladder, and when I got out he seemed even MORE pissed cuz I took too long! I don't know what his real issue was..but I was thinking to myself... 'Maybe he's tired....or maybe he hates the night shift....or maybe I'm ugly...or maybe he was napping and my damned self prompted him into obligatory duty. Or maybe he was only one-centerfold in to that stack of PLAYBOYS on the dash of his SUV ( which was purposely well-hidden in the dark shadows of the bridge pilons). Whatever the case, some 25 minutes later..he did walk off in a grumble. Sorry boss...I scored 110% on your little field test. Maybe next time.
I was pretty much done for the night...and was a little ticked-off that he interrupted my 'quick-dash' to the restroom, and I wished I had just pissed into the riverwater like everyone else. One good thing though...as soon has he left the SNOOK started THRASHIN' the schools of finger mullet under the bridge! I strapped on a red-headed bomber and got FOUR SNOOK! One in the SLOT!! I guess I should thank the gestapo man instead having this 'bad-attitude' about being called a thief and a liar by "the man".
But I won't. <script data-ad-client="ca-pub-5988437317975630" async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
