Well, it wasn't a handshake really.
I was running late on my delivery route...and so did not take the time to empty my bladder from the four sixteen ounce bottles of Mountain Dew I had drunk in order to jack myself up enough to get back on time, and 'perhaps'... avoid the ire of our contemptuous leaders.
The problem:.... I really, REALLY had to go!
For about five hours straight!...
Rolling beads of sweat covered my upper lip...and I could feel my blood pressure reaching stroke levels. On the last mile of my return , my reassuring mind started telling me how "it wouldn't be long now"...and my body had started to slowly let itself start the countdown to the 'urinary release' in the bathroom back at the office.
When I got back, I parked the truck...and wasted no time in a fast-paced (but bladder controlling ;) scurry to the restroom!
Nobody was around, so I had already started the process of unzipping my fly and unbuttoning my trousers.....as I busted through the bathroom door!
.... My pants were unbuttoned and my fly was down as I feverishly reached in for the ...'final withdrawal'....at the urinal.
Just I burst through the door, I ran straight into my new boss , who was RIGHT THERE!....kneeling on the floor ..and tying his shoe.
I will end the story there...
